Bennett Rader - Plymouth, Ohio (USA):

This book showcases a zen troll who eats burglars.
This book is an unknown myth translated by Joseph Campbell.
This book frowned when bigots took over a northern city and consigned
    the natives to a life of shame and poverty, but it still
    keeps records of their ballgames.
A man dropped a chipmunk into this book, but the critter popped
    on her derby and used her jawbone to race over the wall
    to freedom for a weekend.
This book is about an exotic redhead who impetuously poemed and photographed
    her way to fame last friday.

Alfred J Bruey - Jackson, MI (USA):

This book can go from 0 to 60 in four seconds and
    from 60 to 0 in zero seconds if it hits a brick
    wall. Publishers never warn you about the dangers of speed when they
    are trying to sell you a new edition.
This book contains the predictions of Nostradamus. It contains precise forecasts for
    the rest of your life. If you read this, you will never
    be surprised again.
This book is the only book standing between a pro-life book and
    a pro-choice book. If anyone checks this book out, sparks will fly.
This book is the designated driver when the books go bar-hopping. It
    not only is a non-drinker, it is the only book that knows
    how to drive.
This book was once green, but it held its breath until its
    covers turned blue.

Sarolina Shen Chang - Canton, Michigan (USA):

This is the book about the dog that swallowed the moon, or
    the sun, and the villagers beating their pans and pots to chase
    away the dog and thought they'd done a miraculous job when the
    dog spit out the moon, or the sun.
This is the book about the man who invented umbrella. First
    he thought about building a portable pavilion to keep out the rain,
    or the sun. His wife didn't like the idea. Neither
    did he.
This is a book printed on recycled papers from a century old
    book. It is really hard to comprehend the book, the new
    one, because the old one kept reincarnating itself through the lines.
This is a book about a snowman that the author built for
    his friend's kids when the friend was dying in the hospital.
    He swore he saw tears on the snowman the night his friend
    died.
This is a book about the recycle bin that got shipwrecked on
    the snowbank after the storm.

David Lerner - Prairie Village, Kansas (USA):

This book is neverending
This book is a good sleep inducer
This book cost me seven pound
This book smells like frozen ice cream
This book is diggity-dog-wack-jack

Katherine Borghardt - Ottawa, KS (USA):

This book is doggin' me
with its cold, wet nose
routing me out of my midnight bed-cozy
howling, FEED ME SEYMOUR, FEED ME!

Penelope - Lexington, Kentucky (USA):

This book didn't bleed this month but still checks every hour, crosses
    her fingers hoping to find pink or red ink in her pages.
This book eats fritos for breakfast, smokes cigarettes, can't pay the rent,
    wishes she had asked for his autograph, does not own a car.
Flaubert? Hawthorne? Dostoevsky? Emile Zola wrote a song about her once.
    But which bar, which party, which railroad station? This book thinks she
    might be just a little bit lonely.
This book dog ears the corners of her own pages, lays wide
    open on tables, was left in a bathroom and was not owned
    by Kafka. This book is praying for rain.
This book has torn off her own cover (did I say lonely?).
    This book feels long overdue.

Peg Duthie - Nashville, TN (USA):

This book was rescued from a recycling bin by an artist who
    then shredded every 13th page for her collaged self-portraits.
She tried to use this book in a fight with me.
    We'd still be friends if she hadn't been literal about smacking me
    over the head with its arguments. A good thing it was
    a softcover.
Don't read this book without vaseline if you want to keep smiling.
This book has so many creased corners it should just be turned
    into a pack of origami dogs.
This book can placate a cat-o-nine-tails in mid-downstroke.
This book has a weaker kick than stale wasabi.
This book is more slippery than a determined tuna.
This book anthologizes the comment cards of thirteenth-floor hotel guests..
This book is a munition, and it will dye your hands green
    if you fail to speak the right password before opening it.
This book was sewn together from pads of misprinted checks. Browsers
    still rip out its pages and try to cash them at the
    liquor store down the street. By this point, the clerk just
    rolls her eyes and reaches into her stockpile of skunked beer.
    "Here's your check back - you can use it as your hand-guard."

Josh Flynn - Kokomo, Indiana (USA):

This book has nine stories.
This book is about a descent into madness. I read it
    in a mental ward.
I no longer own this book. It contained the secret of life,
    but was stolen by two rebellious angels.
This is the journal the Anti-Christ kept during his rock 'n' roll
    tour across America.
This is the greatest story of all. It's ten books long
    and tells the tale of the Dream King. Yet it has
    never been mentioned by Oprah. Oprah doesn't dream.

Denise Dunn - ABQ, NM (USA):

This online book somehow knows my name even though I haven't signed
    in. Creepy. Almost enough to make me quit reading.
    Almost. It has some 'splainin' to do.
Th book over there can't be classified. It tries to cover
    all the bases by drawing a connection between Good Friday and Friday
    the thirteenth but no one is buying it.
The book I started last night is part of me already.
    It thought I wasn't taking it seriously and gave me a significant
    paper cut.
This book is being written line by line by people who notice
    it on the large easel near the information desk. Some of
    them pick out the colored marker of their choice and add a
    line to the current page. So far, it's all about memory
    and loss and seasons of life and turning the page.
The books on the freebie cart by the entrance are fast movers,
    all trained at the blue light special workshop in their youth.
    They are quite an eclectic bunch, too.
The book over there that keeps catching your eye isn't trying to
    compete, it just takes itself seriously, doesn't judge itself by what its
    cover has become. It still smiles at its reflection in the
    window when the lights are on. It must be onto something,
    because many people smile at it sweetly.

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