Alfred J Bruey - Jackson, MI (USA):

This book is the love book. The only words in it are
    "I Love You" over and over for 560 pages. No one has
    ever gotten beyond page 35 without realizing what it means to be
    smothered by love.
This book stops and opens its doors at all railroad crossings. It's
    a habit that's carried over from when it used to drive a
    school bus.
This book is a politician's book. It is so full of hot
    air that it will float away if the book on either side
    of it is removed.
This book only got published because the author's father owns a publishing
    company.
This book is a love song, a tribute to one who played
    too long and left too soon and so far has stayed away
    forever.

Katherine Borghardt - Ottawa, KS (USA):

This is the object d'art we keep on the coffetable
(where we never drink coffee)
to impress people
(who never read nor touch it)
by the fact that it's written in a foreign tongue
(who gives a lick?)
and bears a bookplate of presentation in a calligraphic hand.

Sarolina Shen Chang - Canton, Michigan (USA):

This book, The Additions To Albert Goldbarth's "Library", was written by the
    following authors in random order: Confucius, Shakespeare, Aritstotle, Poe, Twain, Mencius, Lao
    Tze, Tolstoy, Dickens, Kunitz. Each contributor was limited to 5 lines,
    each line not to exceed 450 characters & spaces. Count Von
    Count was credited for his tedious job counting.
This book, written by an anonymous author, taught George Banks how to
    fly a kite after he was degraded by his boss and the
    boss' sons and grandsons. It also taught Mary Poppins how to
    fly with an umbrella, which had a strong British accent though made
    in China.
This book is a collection of speed limits throughout the whole world
    and the people and the animals who (which) followed or re-wrote them.
    The speed limits for the aliens from X-Files are currently being
    debated in the Senate where Vice President Cheney is expected to cast
    his second tie-breaker vote shortly after the first one which no body
    cared.
The author of this book tried to explain how Ben Hur won
    the chariot race, but failed. He fainted when counting the laps, the
    horses, the audiences ... He also got suffocated from the dust which
    contained ingredients the tobacco companies claimed more harmful than their products which
    were not made in Italy.
This book is about the courage the Lion from Wizard of Oz
    left behind and was stolen by the three African cheetahs whose mother
    ran away to wean them off. They were scared, not because
    the Lion might come to reclaim it, but because they didn't know
    what to do with it.

Peg Duthie - Nashville, TN (USA):

This is the book of hate. By the time you reach
    page 19, your hands are covered with a bloody residue. This
    is not to be confused with the book of overweening ambition, which
    is covered with indelible red spots.
This book is a collection of custom-designed bookplates. I suspect they
    are far more interesting than the books from which they were photographed.
My new puppy keeps chewing on my stack of reference books, I
    guess I'm going to have to sprinkle red pepper all over the
    edges.
This was the book in the trunk of our car when we
    got arrested for speeding in Virginia. Well, _we_ thought it
    was just speeding. The Commonwealth called it reckless driving. (Imagine
    how reckless we really would have been had it been Anais Nin
    instead of Marcel Proust in with the snow scrapers.
This book is as fluffy as a good Southern biscuit. There's
    a beekeeping manual shelved right next to it.

Patricia Johnson - Slidell, LA (USA):

This book is moving down steel rollers of a chute.
I placed it on the rollers because I have decided to donate
    it to a charity.
Its new owner will find the dogeared corners charming and the
tea stains on pages 29 and 224 a helpful emphasis to
    the plot.
Is it too late to change my mind? I will come to
    the sale and buy it back.

Andy Chapple - Leawood, KS (USA):

This book put me to sleep in Physics class.
This book put me to sleep in History Class.
This book is a textbook with lots of important facts that I
    will never need again.
This book encouraged me to become a music director.
This book will never be read again.
This book helped me enjoy my senior year English class.

Susan Hoover - New York, New York (USA):

This book brakes for all animals.
It breathes a sigh of relief at the opportunity to sample
non-corporate presence heretofore
Lurking sanctimoniously in the wings while
Pretending not to be deadly serious.

Denise Dunn - ABQ, NM (USA):

The book open on the bed is about love which takes the
    breath away and uses it to scatter unplayed patterns before him from
    which his dreams arise.
The previous book was a treatise on love. He decided it
    wasn't worth sticking around for the ending.
He has read this other book on love a time or
    two but didn't take it seriously so the book kept losing his
    place.
Now he returns to the book on the bed, knowing that real
    love's tests are always open book tests. Love really wants him
    to succeed. He finds his place again and reads on.

Penelope - Lexington, Kentucky (USA):

This book sat up all night in the Emergency Room waiting area
    -- no smoking -- no food -- no drink -- only two
    family members at a time. This book didn't know the right
    questions to ask
or if it did, I couldn't find them in the table of
    contents, the index, the long pages of footnotes in miniscule print.
This book served no purpose at all, except to mind my seat
    while I went to the restroom to wash my face and to
    give my hand a place to rest
although one this book did start a conversation with the man in
    the seat across from me. It seems he too once read
    this book and found it had nothing to offer those who wait
in silence in uncomfortable seats for uncomfortable answers.

Briana Hargons - New Brunswick, NJ (USA):

I finger this book covetously, hankering to possess the discernment seeping from
    its pores
I search for a question; this book knows what I want to
    say. My destiny already notarized it wants me to take a journey
    through its pages in order to shepherd my free will.
I am not wise although I long to be, the book knows
    this, it speaks to me, skulks in my dreams at night and
    still I am to wayward to follow its guidance.

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