I’m searching for porn with bodies like mine, but not made fetish—false idol for a stranger’s violent desire.  So,   I’m   masturbating   to   Greek   myths  & how they remind me of my chimera body. How almost every monster was just the best parts of other animals sewn together. Myth—a stitch threading together the best parts of woman & what I was given. I lie back against the sheets & Charybdis  both  this  body’s  hungry  mouths,  let my  fingers  feel  what  wet  wreckage,  what  good & greedy breaking these can make of any body. Name this sometimes-unwanted part of me—Hydra   how   you   sever   the   head   of   a   snake    & it grows again & it grows again & it grows again, how    this    blood-hardened    flesh    reminds   me  of its presence. & in this myth woman is still born from the severance of man. But not how you were taught. My hands slur semen and seafoam into one word.  A  sound  like  birth  &  drowning.  In  myself & these sheets. Body breaking the water’s surface. Mouth gasping for air