After the Operation (extract)

Elizabeth T. Gray, Jr.

(After the operation,

intact abandoned
its nouns, the idea

itself fell
apart and was

last seen somewhere
in an enamel

bowl in pieces
next to a bone saw)

***

We discussed the risks of surgery including but not limited to coma, death, stroke, paralysis, infection, bleeding, and spinal fluid leak. Specific to this tumor in this location, we also discussed the risks of complete loss of olfaction, spinal fluid leak into the ethmoid or frontal sinus (which is small on the MRI), and damage to the frontal lobes with change in personality. We described the procedure in detail. We discussed the pre- and postoperative courses as well as discharge instructions and restrictions. We discussed the location of the incision behind her hairline and that we would likely only need to shave minimal hair. We discussed the risk of a medical complication. In summary, the risks, benefits, and alternatives to surgery were discussed with the patient. All questions were answered, and the patient expressed her full understanding. She wishes to proceed with the planned surgery and has given consent.

***

We came upon her at dusk
in a dense forest

of monitors
draped cuffs, dangling

salines, tapes, drains
broad bandages, electrodes

We tried not to be terrified
and failed

We looked to her as we always had
We tried to tell her she looked fine

Because she could not see herself
she tried to put us at ease

We asked her how she felt, really
She was very calm (the meds)

“I was worried,” she said
“but nothing has changed. Listen,

beyond the windows:
the creak of bullock carts

breaking waves, crows,
the call to prayer.”

Click here to read Elizabeth T. Gray, Jr.'s essay on her poems in "After the Operation"

Feature Date

May 26, 2025

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What Sparks Poetry

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Susan Johann

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Elizabeth T. Gray, Jr. is a poet, translator, and corporate consultant. Her books of poetry include After the Operation (Four Way Books 2025), Salient (New Directions, 2020), and Series | India (Four Way Books, 2015). Her translations of Iran’s iconic woman poet Forough Farrokhzad (1934-1967), Let Us Believe in the Beginning of the Cold Season (New Directions, 2022) was a finalist for the 2023 PEN Prize for Poetry in Translation. Sections of the Tibeto-Mongolian folk epic, “The Life of King Kesar of Ling,” developed with translator Dr. Siddiq Wahid of the Center for Policy Research in New Delhi, appeared in Sources of Tibetan Tradition (Columbia University Press, 2013). Her work has appeared in The Paris Review, Modern Poetry in Translation, Poetry International, Dispatches from the Poetry Wars, Hyperallergic, Little Star, Talisman, The Harvard Review, The New England Review, Ploughshares, The Kenyon Review, and elsewhere, and she has served as Guest Editor of Epiphany and The New Haven Review. She was the founding CEO and Managing Partner of the boutique corporate consulting firms Conflict Management, Inc. and Alliance Management Partners. She serves on the Boards of The Beloit Poetry Journal Foundation, Kimbilio Fiction, Friends of Writers, World Poetry, and Flood Editions. She also serves on the Board of the Abdorrahman Boroumand Center for Human Rights in Iran, and from 2009-2015 served as Chair of the Board of the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center. She holds a B.A. and J.D. from Harvard University and an MFA from the Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College. She lives in New York City. www.etgrayjr.com.

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After the Operation

Four Way Books

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Elizabeth T. Gray Jr.’s After the Operation reports from the No Man’s Land she wandered following eight hours of surgery to remove a brain tumor. What does the mind feel like after something has been taken out of your skull? “An uninhabited coast,” or “all shatter and thoroughfare?” These spare poems interweave medical documents, journal entries, and memories, assembling a polyvocal chorus to document the surgery itself and the recuperation process. The decentralized perspective of After the Operation allows the reader to see the procedure holistically—medically, from the doctor’s perspective; subjectively, from the author’s; and vicariously, from her caretakers’, family’s, and friends’—while approximating the disassociation the patient feels as she navigates unexpected cognitive and emotional side effects. Sometimes bleak but always gorgeous, After the Operation does us a great service in illuminating and articulating the complexities of a serious medical event. This tangible chronicle of Gray’s terror, isolation, bafflement, desolation, love, loss, relief and gratitude serves as a beacon for all of us who will one day, as Susan Sontag says, find ourselves dwelling in “the kingdom of the sick.” Gray makes valiant use of her citizenship there, asking, “When they come for you, when the unfamiliar roar comes, and a sudden opening, and light pours in, when what had kept you safe, what had always been, is breached, pried open, and light pours in, what do you want to have been writing then?” After the Operation is her triumphant answer.

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