Something I Wrote Down

A. D. Lauren-Abunassar

When the whale is                  circling I will be          lying in the bottom of    the boat committing                plagiary: seven             words or more         wondering the water     frozen.Surviving a heartless         winter feels like elective         surgery: some pain            I signed up for.              For example, why         not Texas? Or California—Northstate,driving a road with          no exits             exiting a house          with no doors.          Pressing my face                    to glass. Why not go somewhere     with no coldness.     Why not peer from the edgeof the boat,          say to the whale:             I read about you.                 Was you, I think            as a girl who cut                  heads off flowers.                          Who examined the mud-bank for tiny.              There is no place where cold             cannot go. Perhaps                a reason. Small          as it may                be.                                            A whale changesthe light of an ocean.         Seems to be circling     its own                          small reason.                A whale knows                      that stealing is                                     necessary for provingone's life is a collection              of activity. Much                                             like the falling of                 snow. An act                that feels much                                      like an act. Confessing:in all my life no one                      ever offered                                          to build me                 a boat.                      But why read         into the absence of              offerings? Why notthink of my whale          as my whale     to examine or leave         unexamined. I suppose         there's no kind way          to leave someone,                      suppose there's no holdin a boat. Just                  a distance from                  water. And life                  is that also:                    collections of distance.                         Would you believe     this began asa love note?      Some desperate unclutching          of sound. But of         what and for                whom? I suppose          there is no place                     where answers stavecoldness. Suppose          I have lost that false             start. Gone plunging my        hands in confession:              It's been years      since I fell in         love with the lightof an ocean.        Since I turned down the sight              of a whale.          Years since I did                                some small something          with snow.

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Photo of A. D. Lauren-Abunassar

A. D. Lauren-Abunassar, an Arab American poet and writer, currently lives in New York. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in PoetryNarrativeRattleBoulevard, and elsewhere. She was the winner of the 2020 Palette Emerging Poet Prize and a finalist for a Ruth Lilly and Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Poetry Fellowship. She holds graduate degrees in journalism from NYU and poetry from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.

Cover of Coriolis

Fayetteville, Arkansas

University of Arkansas

“It is a strange but marvelous thing that every truly gifted lyric poet invents a language of her own. Everything is magical here, and everything is real. Lauren-Abunassar knows how to speak in tongues, to say what isn’t quite possible to say otherwise.”
— Ilya Kaminsky

“In poems that crest and turn with fresh metaphors and a deeply observant and curious point of view, Lauren-Abunassar takes the reader on a journey that, as it unfolds, reminds us that ‘even / in the dark, we grow.’”
— Ashley M. Jones

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