Summer in Biddle City, 2001

Marianne Chan

                   Our family talked all the time about the end of the world. Our father would say, During the Three Days of Darkness, if you hear your mother outside, don’t open the door, okay? It isn’t your mother, okay? It’s the devil. You and I always agreed, we wouldn’t

                   open the door. He kept candles that were blessed by a priest under the bathroom sink, so many candles. That way, we’d still have some light during those final days. But it was summertime, and ah, the Michigan sun! We made our own music videos outside

                   with a camcorder and the Filipino kids of Biddle City dancing in Bermuda shorts. Sometimes while at sleepovers with the Filipino kids, I’d have night tremors about the end of the the world. Mom called them “panic attacks.” Even if I crossed myself, I couldn’t end

                   the bad dream. Oftentimes, I wouldn’t remember them at all. I’d simply wake up in a different place from where I’d fallen asleep. Once I’d stood up in the middle of the night, ran around the house, screaming, Hello? Hello? You said you thought I was possessed

                    with one of the poor souls in purgatory, asking to be released. I couldn’t sleep in my own bedroom for weeks after; I slept in the den next to Mom and Dad’s room and had MTV playing all night long, a video safety blanket. I’d wake up in the early morning

                        with Madonna line dancing to “Don’t Tell Me.”  You know, we never said: Don’t tell me. Our parents told us everything they thought would prepare us for the end of the world. And before the official end

                   of summer, I went into the school office for a Band-Aid and saw a plane crash into a New York City building, then another plane, and then an announcement, school canceled. Was this it? The end? I wasn’t afraid, I knew

                   we were prepared. We had all the candles we needed under the bathroom sink. I wasn’t sure if I should tell anyone at school not to answer the door if they heard their mother, I guess I didn’t care much about them. I went home, we turned on the TV, waited for dark.

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Marianne Chan is the author of Leaving Biddle City (2024) and All Heathens (2020), both published by Sarabande Books. She is an assistant professor of creative writing at Old Dominion University.

A coming-of-age narrative, Leaving Biddle City details one Filipina American speaker’s experience of growing up amid a white, Midwestern suburbia mythologized as “Biddle City.” Through prose poems, pantoums, ballads, flattened haikus, and thematic autobiographies, Chan maps a territory of intergenerational conflict, racial alienation, and memory and forgetfulness. What’s achieved is a work of play and meticulous beauty, a collection that reframes how we may understand ourselves, our histories, and the places where we are from.

“Marianne Chan's poems in Leaving Biddle City are ghostly, ghosts, and ghost-like. Even the language repeats and circulates within their forms, but without the frames of their forms. ‘What is place without place? What is memory without memory?,’ these skilled and beautiful poems seem to ask.”
—Victoria Chang, author of The Trees Witness Everything

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