I kept my mouth open. I practiced fallingasleep with a clamp to my lips.If I was hungry, I swallowed hard-boiled eggs. I showed my neighborsa kindness. I dug holesthrough my backyard. Little gravesfor the lost. I said a prayer.I fell asleep. I dreamedof severing the fingers of the three federaleswho raped my best friendin the sundrenched alley. I woke upat 3:46. I openedthe window. I knew notto close my mouth. I listenedto the hallway’s faintest voice.The weeping. The echoof an ancient hurt. If I was in pain,I stared out the windowat a bed of cempasúchil. Petals brightas a bonfire. If I was in pain, I recorded myself.I unhinged my jaw. Its muscles pulsing.Watch this pain in the oldVHS tapes in the basement.That year, another friendwent missingafter taking a bus from the maquilato her father’s house & another friendstopped speakingfor seven months. The new bruiseon her neck darkenedlike a dead flower, her voicea coffin to carry her dead.& another friend⸻ another friend⸻& today, a new flower grows in my backyard,& I blow the dust off the videotapes,& today, my mouth is still wide open.