My Darkest Thoughts
My darkest thoughts are like dipping a United States into a scabbard.A United States flexes itself on a map What was it liketo grow up inside the hegemony? Nothing special of courseWhat was it like to live inside that economy that pressed you intoa flattened portion of a person? It wasn't so dramatic, we were okayMy childhood is a museum display of the suburbs in the 1990sBehind glass: a trampoline, a fax machine, the memorized telephone numbers of my friendsWhat fruits had you eaten as a child?Only banana watermelon Red Delicious apples and (very expensive) strawberries as a treatMore often it was the idea of fruit, something flavored like a fruitStrawberry Pop Tart. What's inside it? A deep red smear of sugarAs red as. Oh I don't know. A smear of emotionWhat was it like to grow up inside the hegemony?On the one hand the nation was swinging its head and stamping its hoovesOn the other hand we were eating what they told us was food, we believed them foreverIt was food We knew what they told us was true
Copyright © 2020 by Emily Bludworth de Barrios
All rights reserved.
Reproduced by Poetry Daily with permission.
Emily Bludworth de Barrios is the author of Splendor, a book of poems from H_NGM_N. She’s also published two chapbooks: Women, Money, Children, Ghosts, from Sixth Finch, and Extraordinary Power, from Factory Hollow Press. Her poems have appeared in publications such as jubilat, The Poetry Review, The Harvard Review, Columbia Journal, Gulf Coast, and Tender. Emily was born in Houston and raised in Egypt, the United States, and Venezuela; she currently lives in Houston with her husband and three children. The family is planning a move to Santa Cruz, Bolivia, her husband’s hometown.
Find more information here: http://www.emilybludworthdebarrios.com/
Sixth Finch is an online journal of poetry and art, founded in 2008 and updated quarterly.
Poems in Sixth Finch have appeared in Best of the Net, The Best American Poetry, Bettering American Poetry and The Pushcart Prize.