What is this lifeblood if not a river?I enter my body as exit strategy.I come from a long line of fatherswithout fathers. I’ve said too much.Look, the city streets are coveredin cherry blossoms. I listen to jazzto remember the rain, dance nakedin the street to the rhythm of the music.After months without watermy lover set ice cubes in my earsso I could hear the river.The river is disappearing.The edges of the bank washed out.What use is a mouth if not bent to protest?Last summer, Blue and I dancedour traumas for the camera.Watched a constellation as it rose into the sky.I’ve stopped trusting my friendsto survive. Now, I check locationsfor signs of a heartbeat,pop pills each nightto ward off sickness,check my blood for infidelity.There is a rot at the heart of my wanting,a fire rivering my veins. Each day,the headlines unbecome me.I’m running out of needlesto make ripple of the surface.My doctor says to stockpilein case of an emergency.Our children are dying.What else would you call that?We are your national crisis.Your unspoken prayers. Gleamingeven in the fading light.                                                                                                 After Hala Alyan